because I am firmly committed to changing the poilicies of this organization.
...pursuing an empty pipedream
Sorry, but you are wasting your time. Eventually you will be forced to teach something you know to be wrong. You can't pick and choose all your talks.
I am sure you are sincere, but I suspect the real reason you stay in is fear of the consequences. (And that's quite understandable)
The other reason you give, whilst true, are likely to be secondary, self-comfort to justify your double life to yourself.
Unfortunately, in time you will be caught out.
I wish it were otherwise, but the Org. could not be steered away from its spiritual corruption by Ray Franz even when he was in the GB.
It cannot be changed from within. It is built on sand.
I don't know you, and I certainly do not want to be critical. You sound sincere and like you really want to help the 'brothers'. It's just that you need to realise it won't work in the end, and you are only postponing the inevitable.